Have you ever sat down and thought about a parent’s role? What the heck is our job?!??
According to society, the role of parents entails educating and socializing children to function in society. From a religious perspective, the role of a parent is to care for them properly. Christianity, in particular, teaches that children should treat their parents with honor and respect. There is also a big emphasis on obedience. But unfortunately, all of these descriptions reflect an ancient time when society was more hierarchical and patriarchal. Back then, people lived by their roles and ranks. They did not move up or down. There were clear delineations of power. Now in a time when everyone is looking for more equality, and those lines have blurred, we need a way of parenting that reflects that; a more respectful form of parenting. A more respectful way of parenting has us rethinking how we relate to each other in a family. The outdated ideas of roles, ranks, and jobs don’t work.
Sometimes, to understand something, we have to understand what it is not.
For example, parenting is not about:
- Ensuring outcomes -our children are people to be unfolded. Not “mini-mes.” They choose their path. They have free will.
- Being Perfect – we can be “perfect” parents, and our children will still misbehave and make mistakes because making mistakes is how they learn and grow. It’s not our job to do everything perfectly.
- Making our kids happy- happiness is a feeling, a passing emotional state. We can set our kids up for misery if we’re always looking to make them happy because later in life, when they aren’t happy, they think something must be wrong with them.
We’re not fortune-tellers, we’re not robots, and we’re not cruise directors. We’re parents. Perhaps there isn’t any clear description of what a parent is because we’re not roles, and parenting isn’t a job. We are humans in a relationship with other little humans.
So what does it mean to be a parent in the modern-day?
Parenting is about fostering love, safety, and trust. First love, how would your parenting change if your #1 goal was to love your child unconditionally? Loving your child means every day your child can answer the questions do I matter and am I important? Second, safety – emotionally, physically, and psychologically. Do you protect your child? Does your child hide from you or run towards you when they have a hard time? Do they feel safe to learn and take healthy risks of exploration? Finally, trust. Trust means showing up consistently, being reliable, and being someone they can count on to help meet their needs.
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Do you feel like you’ve read all the books and follow different parenting experts on social media but still feel so confused about disciplining your kids? Find your confidence and clarity in parenting. Work with me. It only takes one conversation. Tell me about your struggles, what you’ve tried, and where you want to be. I’ll show you the blind spots and areas of focus I see. The feeling of having the time and space to talk to an expert about your parenting struggles and where you want to be is impactful regardless of whether we work together or not. You in? Schedule a call with me.
